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Mother’s Day Is Just Around The Corner – By Dr. Jeannette Lofas

It is Mothers’ Day in the stepfamily / blended family.

Despite the cards and flowers stepmothers face these daunting issues.

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Some Issues and Complaints

The Stepmother may say:

  • “It’s Mothers’ Day and little to no thanks for what I do
  • “He’s asked me to take the kids and get a present for Her
  • “What is my role in this family?
  • “I thought it might be hard, but not this hard!
  • “He won’t discipline his kids
  • “My dilemma… discipline or not to discipline.
  • “Who comes first?
  • “Everyone in his life, his kids, his former wife, and his business, comes before me.
  • “His ex calls and he jumps to her commands It seems as though she has more influence on him than anybody.
  • “My money goes to support this family because his money goes to take care of the ex and the kids.
  • “When his children come over we have no sex life.
  • “I think I’m becoming the “cruel stepmother.”

It is Mothers’ Day in the Stepfamily/Blended Family.
Mothers’ Day can underline the stepmother’s questions. For many stepmothers they still face these daunting questions:

1.    I know a stepfamily/blended family just doesn’t always work like
       a biological family.  But how do we manage our
       stepfamily/blended family?  ……………………………………………….      
2.    Who comes first, the partner or the kids?  ………………        
3.   What is my position in this stepfamily?  …………………      
4.    The prior spouse.  Help?  ……………………………….       
5.   We love each other, now the children are pulling
this relationship apart. ………………………………….. …..      
6.   We cannot agree on discipline.  Is it normal?  …………..      
7.  Why does guilt seem to run his relationship, the kids?.  …        
8. Should the kids visitation cause upsets between us?  ……   

We welcome your comments.

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